Workout Recap 6-27-10

Distance: 1.85 miles
Warmup: 5 minutes brisk walk
Running Time: 25 minutes
Cool down: 5 minutes brisk walk
Water breaks: 1
Most Valuable Song: Teeth - Lady GaGa (seriously, I felt like such a badass powerful rocker-god that I may or may not have bared my teeth at the world and picked up the pace a bit)

Today was a personal record for me! I ran the first mile of my workout in 12 minutes!!!!

This is a big achievement for me, and I almost didn't record it here at all. Why not? Well because one of my misguided assumptions about health is that healthy people can run a mile in at least ten minutes. You can trace this back to my sophomore year of highschool, when my gym teacher told the class that we were going to have a practical test in two weeks. We were going to run the mile, and if girls ran the mile in less than ten minutes we would get an A. Between 10-11 was a B, 11-12 a C, and 12-13 a D. Any slower than 13 minutes, and you would fail the test. Being the overachiever that I was at 16, I began crying as soon as she showed us the rubric. I knew that there was no way on earth I would be able to get anything better than a D, and I would have to bust my ass to do that. My teacher then decided to rub salt in the wounds and told me that if I had been really trying in gym class and working out at home that I would be able to get an A almost without effort. It was really my fault for not trying hard enough/being lazy.

As an adult, I can realize that this was total and utter bullshit. No one can train enough to shave minutes off of their mile time in 2 weeks, and if I were going to be training to run a mile at my best speed it wouldn't be through 45 minutes of dodge ball twice a week with my classmates. I was set up to fail. I tried to call in sick on test day, but my parents saw through me and made me go in to school. I ran as hard as I could, and I missed a D by 30 seconds. I failed. I walked off the track and straight back into the locker room without even asking for my time, because I knew it was bad. I cried, I threw up, and went to my next class.

So because my asshole gym teacher set the rubric in 10th grade that anything over 10 minutes is not your best work I should feel ashamed of where I am now? HELL NO. I ran a 12 minute mile, which is my best time since my exciting 10:53 in my sophomore year of college. I am proud of my 12 minute mile, because it is so much faster than last week, and the week before. My body is capable of more, but only with adequate training and work over time. I am also retroactively proud for my 13, 14, 15 minute miles, and my first run 8 weeks ago when I ran and walked for 20 minutes, and didn't quite hit a full mile. While I am at it, I am retroactively proud for my D mile in gym class in the 10th grade. It was pretty fucking fast for someone who had recently been prohibited from exercise.

In conclusion: be proud of your best whatever that may be. Fuck your gym teacher, fuck the magazines at the grocery store checkout line, fuck your coworkers, fuck the blogosphere, fuck television, and most importantly fuck the patriarchy. Fuck the whole damn world for not understanding that you've worked hard to be where you are, and that everyone is facing a different journey. I am proud of you for whatever you've done lately that was your best. Nice to an annoying coworker? AWESOME WORK. Went to the grocery store when you felt super panicked and nervous? A+++++ Ran a marathon? YAYYYY. Whatever you do now that you couldn't do before is an achievement to be celebrated. Fuck the haters, except when that hater is you. Then blog about it until you are suitably pleased with your achievements.